Not snow yet!!

We went to church this beautiful, dry sabbath morning!
Not so when we came out.

Now just before bed, I look out and wow!! At least 6 inches of snow covers everything...and no tractor to clear roads and no husband to help. Maybe he really will get snowed out...I pray for clear weather here and there. We can manage a few more days while he makes our living...

Heard from Gea and I am waiting to hear from Emily tonight and Brigham in the morning. I love modern technology.

Goodnight!

Blessings!!

How can a heart be big enough to include so much? Sarah doesn't have access to a computer so I thought I would include these blessings here. These are only 2 of my many blessings. Leona is a definite Mommy's girl. She is so precious and darling and Garrett is a charmer. Earl and Sarah are doing a good job with them.

My heart was full to over flowing today. In one of the conference talks it talked about not having any "empty chairs". As I think about each of my blessings I pray for no empty chairs. I am grateful for a husband who after ???%$#^^ years together still loves me, I am grateful for 11 children who after at least 18 years under by tutelage still love me. (I am very much aware of the deficiencies in my parenting...), I am grateful for two wonderful son-in-laws who take of my daughter-mothers. I am grateful for my mother and sisters and Shawn's mother and sisters and for Shawn's Thomas mother and sisters. I am grateful for extended families and the connection we have with them and for their generosity and love for our family. I am grateful for extra-extended families and how connected we are with them. They fill in spaces that we didn't even know were there. Thank you. Yes my heart is full. I know with time some chairs will be empty--some already are but I do KNOW that we can be together forever and they can be filled again and that is what I pray for. (Sorry this was so sappy. When you get to be my age, I think I have the right...)

All is safely gathered in...

To many, you may be thinking, those are sad looking roses...let me explain.

Every year for mother's day Joseph has bought me a rose bush and for reasons I won't elaborate on, I never have one the following spring. This year, I took extra care of my rose bush and it bloomed it's heart out. Even when it got cold it stilled ...smiled...until night before last. The hard frost was just too much for it.

It actually represents for me a good season...I still have lots to learn about growing and harvesting stuff but this year things grew well. I probably did well because I had to. With Shawn gone I had to be on top of watering, weeding etc. It pulled me out of my comfort zone and helped me to recognize that I COULD do it. And all is, almost, safely gathered in. I am looking forward to next year to practice what I have learned. We have carrots that need to be dug (they are huge) and apples to pick and then I really am done, I think. I have harvested BIG cabbages, apples, onions, zucchini, beets, beans, corn and bottled pears and peaches: not nearly enough but at least the storage room doesn't look so empty. We need a better place to store produce, like a root cellar but for right now things are in the freezer or in bottles.

Hoses are drained, lawn is mowed and watered for the last time, sprinklers put away. All these things I have conveniently allowed Shawn to take care of when he was here because he did.

Yes all is safely gathered in...

Conference

I love conference!! The day always seem so peaceful and there is a special spirit hovering over the day today. Things feel different.

Conference has many different memories. I remember being chosen to attend conference with Mom and Dad 2 different times. Only two of us got to go whenever they went. Listening or viewing conference when I was a girl didn't happen. My first year at Ricks I was able to sing with Rick College choirs one time and that was a neat experience. Other times I stood in line to attend in the tabernacle. Even though it was crowded and the benches hard and sometimes I sat behind a pillar, I was always in awe that I was even there listening to a Prophet in person.

After we were married we purchased every conference on tape and listened to them til the next one came out. We have seldom been fortunate enough to view conference on TV so gathering as a family to listen to the radio was the routine at our house. One time we attended in the conference center and that was awesome. Even while listening (and napping), feeling the spirit and the sacredness of the occasion was always present.

This weekend Shawn is in Washington and I miss him being here to preside over our conference activities. We are grateful for his work but he is missed. So tomorrow we will gather once again to be spiritually fed. Like Brigham--I am stoked!

Dogs and friends

Just finished watching a movie--comes in a close second to "Charlie ' as a tear jerker...Called Marley and Me. After I wiped away the tears I couldn't help but think of the dogs in my life.

When I was a little girl Dad bought home a little puppy for my brother. Scamper became the family dog. He was a house dog until we moved into the new and bigger house in Boulder and then my Mom insisted that he become an "outside dog". That was sad because winters were cold but Scamper didn't complain. There was the time I ran over him in my haste to get a load of books to the bookmobile. Mom helped me care for him because neither of us could have thought it possible to put him down. He lived and when I was on my mission and my mother wrote to say that after 20 years "Old Scamp" had died, I cried. That was tough.

There were other dogs that Mom got to take his place. They were good companions but never quite took the place of Scamper. I don't think any dog could have took his place.

Then came Shawn AND his dog. I married them both. Boku was our companion and my protector. It was a sad day when after about 12-13 years he became to old and sick to carry on. We have had many dogs since then; Brandy's dog, Kimi, then Missy to try to take Boku's place, Candy, Hyde, and Brigham's dog Migo. All come with their own personalities and have managed to climb in our hearts even when we haven't wanted them to. They make life complete. They all have and will cause the tears to fall. Darn it but they are worth it.

Homesick!!

How can I be sitting in my own living room where I have lived for nearly 20 years and feel this longing for...what??!&^$. Maybe its because my children are becoming scattered and living their own good lives and I am still in my...home... I have memories (good and not so very good) lots of pictures and children who still need me to be happy. But I need this day to long for how it was; like when I was a child in Boulder, when I was a young adult searching for love, when I was a young mom with piles of laundry, and dishes and now as an established mom watching my children do what I have taught them to do and be.

Another milestone today: Brigham left for Sao Paulo, Brazil to be trained in the Portuguese language so he can serve in Ribieroa Preto as a missionary for the church. Just yesterday he sat and ate his M & M's one at a time, he finished his dad's sentence--Brigham Brett, my _____ pet!! he planned campouts with all of his buddies, he snag all of the words to EVERY ong on the radio. All of my children have outstanding qualities but today is Brigham's day. Everyone who knows him, likes him. He has a knack for jumping into your heart and staying there so when I feel an emptiness because he has gone, he CAUSED it. But...

I am so glad I am a Mom-- homesickness and all. I just wish it didn't hurt so bad. Brigham would say "It's all part of the plan", Mom. I guess I'll be content with the "plan" -- tomorrow. Today I'll shed a few tears at the edge of the whole he left in my living room. A similar hole that Krista, Joseph, Spencer, Emily, Sarah, and Gea left...

Family Reunions!!

I know why we have reunions!! To keep us on track. My Sister informed me that I was not quite the blogger that my daughter was and she was right. I guess I read hers and think that there is no way to compare with her and so I go along enjoying her daily reads...which I love...

Anyway...

back to reunions...
without pictures it's hard to put into words the good time we had even though we traveled almost a whole to get there and back. :)

We did miss those that couldn't be there and most of them were from my family + Uncle Scott. Wendell was there in his 4th of July shirt and how good that was to have him there. Uncle Wesley and Aunt Sheri and Leah, Uncle Randy and Aunt Roberta, Uncle Jim and Aunt Brenda and Briannon, Grandma Roundy, The Anderson clan--ALL of them, Aunt Claudia and a portion of the Christensen clan, the Taylor tribe, and part of the Carlson bunch. We ate and visited, watched the little ones and ate, and visited and attended 4th festivities, ate and laughed, slept and ate--you get the picture...so much good food and I think I brought home more than I took.

We missed being in Boulder but the Anderson stuff was perfect and we so appreciate them and all they did to make it a success.

The cousins sat around the campfire and sang, sat in the living room and played games and talked, went rafting down the Sevier River, and generally forged some cousin bonds. Krista made sure that we celebrated in living color and had come prepared with all sorts of things and ideas to make memories for everyone and her boys--all of them.

It was good to be home and in my own bed. I was SOOO tired. It was a good memory to add to the book. If I can figure out the picture part, I'll add those later.

Stepping forward

The house is quiet!! The kids are all almost in bed. All but one. Gea is purposefully staying up all night at her Senior lockin. She will be home at about 5:30 in the morning. We witnessed Gea move the tassel from one side of the mortar board (cap) to the other signifying commencement and stepping forward into the adult world.

Graduation is an important thing and I really can remember vividly specific things about the graduation of each of my children. Gea joins the ranks as # 7 and has big shoes to fill as she looks to the examples of wonderful brothers and sisters!!

Graduation was held at the high school and even though parking was tight, I thought it was much more personal to have it there rather than in the traditional Hart Auditorium at BYU-I. Aunt Kelly, Grandma C and Ashley and Lindsey came up and Joni Jackson and Lisa, Evelin and Jesse surprised us with a visit. I have to admit that this graduation hits me in the heart and if I'm not careful I get somewhat emotional. She graduated with a good class--8 valedictorians!! and 55 of 88 who earned the honors diploma. That's big! and quite a few hispanics as well. You don't usually see them graduate.

Gea will never understand how she has influenced our lives and family. She is a sweetheart and exemplifies our Savior very well. She has big plans and we plan that she stays strong.

Lists. . .

I was trained to make lists. My mom did detailed lists starting at 5:30 .m. with time limits for each project, ending at 10:00 p.m. or whenever it was that she went to bed and crossed things off as they were done. She was a stay-at-home-mom and was busy. She even scheduled naps!!

I tried that..didn't work. I allowed too many things to creep in=between the lines or I just didn't have enough foresight. So I tried just long daily lists. By the end of the day very little was crossed off the list and needless to say I felt a bit like Shawn who says almost daily "I didn't get anything done!!" And I wonder what he did all day (me, too!!)

My next trial list was to start out the day with a blank sheet and to add things as I accomplished them and cross them off. That gave me a feeling of accomplishment but I still had silent lists in my head of "thousands" of things still now done.


Then I tried on Sunday night making a list for the whole week and try each night to find the things that need to be done the next day. Still, I just don't seem to make it.

Well this last week I have been shooting for a project, and I can downsize it as time permits, that I can actually see getting done. This morning it was cleaning the inside of my van. It was dirty so when I was done it looked dang good. I mopped my filthy tile tonight. I have gone through my music, I have helped Gea start to de-junk her room. There are other boring things but to me have been small milestones. Oh, there are still piles and piles of things I want to do, can do, should do and have to do, but the small have-dones sure feel good as well. Maybe only one or two crossed out things on my lists is good!!

I'll still do lists. It's ingrained in me. I am changing how I look at what actually gets done. It's all good as Jasmine would say.

A missed but not forgotten milestone

Just a PS to my last blog and I can't believed I overlooked this!! Jasmine, number 11 turned 15 on May 9. How can that be?? She is my baby! No wonder I forgot!! What a joy she is!! Life without her would just not be complete.

May is a significant month for me (us) and more things were added. Today Shawn and I celebrated 31 years of marriage and I can't imagine life without him. When we were first married and had our struggles as we tried to mesh our lives, some good friends of our told us that 10 years was the magic time and we needed to aim for 10 years together. Well, we passed that and now 11 kids, 2 son-in-laws, 5 grand children and a whole bucketload of good memories and experiences later we look forward to even more great things. Shawn is a good man and takes good care of us. I don't know of anyone who works harder and teaches values than he does. (But then I might be prejudiced...)

Gea graduates this month, number 7 to graduate; Leona NaThel made her appearance on May 5 one day before her mother and dad's anniversary even though they celebrate a week later that marks the day they were sealed in the temple. Emily called all the way from the Philippines on Mother's day--the 11th. She has been in the mission field for 6 months!! Oh I love technology! It was so good to hear her voice and feel he joy! Jesse, Krista's second son, turns 3 May 21. It seems like just yesterday they brought him home to meet us all!!

Life is so good. I am so grateful for good friends and a wonderful family! And a good place to live and good places that I have lived.

What matters most

I have been following Krista and her wonderful insight to mommy-parenthood. I'm not blind. I know that there are tuff times but looking back you really only remember the good times and memories. So it is important to make lots of them. This last little while is memory time.

To get Emily's e-mails from Philippines EVERY Monday and to see her progress is wonderful. To have been with Krista and her family in the Vernal temple will be a long-time memory; there with Joseph, Spencer and Brigham made an almost complete picture.

We've made and watched memories made with Brigham's friends and rejoiced with each one as they have headed to the future. We have (almost) cried when Brigham took off to the wild-blue Tulsa area with Spencer.

We wait with anticipation as Earl and Sarah await the arrival of "baby Lona". We rejoice in good grades and won (and lost) games, we ooh and aah at pretty dresses and handsome men going off to dances.

All this in just the last little while!!

What happened to MY babies??? Oh, that I could go back and play in puddles, make snow angels, play fox and geese, giggle into the night, have midnight ice cream or hot chocolate. I admit, I missed some special times but I also have great memories of big steps my kids have made in struggles, choices, and triumphs. I am glad to have been a part of the successes.

Yes, life is good and, it only gets better! Most of the time!!

Tug of War

This morning when I went out to say my goodbyes before going to work, our two dogs, Hyde and Migo (Meego) had a stick between them (in their teeth) pulling back hard and growling. They are buddies and I am sure they did not want to have an all out fight but neither were giving in to the other either. They pulled back hard for a good 5 minutes until one was distracted by an approaching car and inadvertently letting go allowing Migo to win.

I couldn't help but think how like life and life's relationships that was. Something is thrown our way either good or not so good and we grab hold and tug and tug and growl and grumble and just can't let go and let "it" win or someone else win. Life is too short to be caught in a tug of war of opinion, habit, or self-pity etc. growling to "get the stick when something else comes along and we can enjoy that.

I have been caught growling and tugging and I have strying to stop. There are too many precious moments in life to enjoy.

A new start (or something like that...)

It's quiet in the house--the kids are getting older and they go their own ways now. But no matter where they are, I am happy to see them be involved not onlyin their own lives but in each others lives cementing the bonds that make us the "Christensen Clan".

I love new beginnings. I have absolutely decided that I have got to do something about the physical me. I am so out of shape and heavier than I have ever been ( of course I only see the me that I used to be). Anyway, I am started my own program of moving forward. I am too old to be moving backwards and there is too much of life in those of my children, grandchildren and future grandchildren to be old and decrepit.

Life is good. Not easy, but good.