Cowboy heaven

Garrett and Leona think Grandpa's Place is cowboy heaven!
We did have to find some suitable horses.
Oh and Leona didn't want to be outdone.

Happy Birthday

It's been awhile.
I guess being a year older merits a post.
I feel great and being 58 doesn't seem to hurt.
Too much. The candles created a lot of light and way
too much smoke. Garrett was finally satisfied that Grandma
had a birthday--cake, candles and all!

momto11

I love everyone of my children.
They each are different.
They are each special.
I want to be the best influence for each of them and
without getting into their faces
too much
Help them as they embark on the path of life.

Spencer is getting married!
How fun to have the opportunity
to help them celebrate.
I'll try to not get in their faces...

Joseph is learning to work as an underling.
Not an easy thing for him. I hope we can guide him constructively.

Emily is home from the Philippines; Brigham is still serving in Brazil;
Gea is finding companionship with good young men and friends.
Krista and Sam are making a wonderful home and life for them and
their children.
Sarah and Earl are learning parenting and etc.

Then I have four still left at home struggling to find
their way as teenagers.

Sometimes this mom to 11 isn't so great
and I let them slip through the cracks.
I need to do better.

I have to do better.

I will do better.

Joan...

Mom...,
Sister Christensen...,
Dear...,
Mel...,
Melanie...,
Joan...,

Sometimes I feel caught between a rock and a hard spot.
Do I try too hard?
Or not hard enough?
Am I a convenience?
Or an inconvenience?

I sink my life into family.
They sink their lives somewhere else.

Maybe that means I am doing my job
Somewhat.

I'l keep trying.

My testimony

Today was fast and testimony meeting. We had more than the usual "unusuals". It was a good meeting. We have decided to only have one person at a time in the family bear testimony and leave the time for others. Gea bore her testimony and it was really sweet.

But I would like to record my testimony.

I am so grateful for my knowledge of the plan of salvation; to know where I came from, why I am here, and to know that this life isn't the end makes everything worth it. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the countless blessings we enjoy as a family and that I enjoy as His daughter.
I can't even start to count the number of times prayers have been answered. I know He is aware of me. I know He love mes and I love Him. Sometimes I find myself drifting from things I know I should be doing (reading the scriptures, personal prayer etc.) but I know how important those things are and feel power when I return.

Choices

Today.
Two weeks.
I made the choice to get a handle on my health.
Good for me.
No really.
Good for me.
I have accepted the idea that it will take time.
And effort.
I didn't really want to talk about it but I should.
Hopefully, time will say more than words.
No swimsuit pictures.
This picture is 10 pounds after two weeks.
Front shot isn't too bad but that side!!
Ugh!! Ugly.
Oh well.
So there it is.
Two more weeks really restricted and then I gradually try new foods.
That's the part that scares me.
But
It's my choice.
(I'll post the pictures later. Can't find the cord...)

Still working on project 365 minus . . .

I am using my paper journal as well but this month I have decided to focus my control outward...
this month is the month of love.
It is not about me.
It is about others.
I choose to look for ways to make others happy
And, so far
It feels good.

choices

I chose today to be a homemaker.
Chili and corn bread for supper.
After the afternoon at the wrestles.
Juan took 4th.
South Fremont finished 3rd!
It was great being there with my good husband and fantastic kids.
I need to do and be better for both.
I am working at it.

Gea gets home in a week and a half.
Where did the time go?

Emily gets home in just short of 3 months.
Where did THAT time go?
I am excited
But so much to do!!

Life in our lane will change for a short while again.
That is our life.

An observation

Last night I went out to help Shawn with a little project on the car.
The heater doesn't work.
Workable if it is nice.
A flat pain when it is cold.
No one wants to drive it.

Shawn was determined to fix it.
I held the light and turned switches.
His job was to wedge himself into an impossible position to removed the screws and device.
It wasn't easy.
The first 3 screws cooperated.
The last one held tight.
It was as determined to stay as Shawn was to get it out so that he could "fix" the problem.
He cussed (much to my demise),
He yelled, (at least I thought it was yelling)
He pounded,
He tried other positions, but
it stayed.
In the end,
It lost.
Shawn removed the last screw, removed the device and by-passed the problem and hopes he fixed the problem.

For now.

I couldn't help but think about a comparison.
I have a good number of friends that for one reason or another are calling it quits on marriage. Maybe
they have a "screw" in a bad place
and think just because they have screamed, cussed, cried a few times
that they should remove offensive device after finally getting the screw out, by-pass marriage all-together and hopefully "fix" the problem.
For now.

Shawn said the heater still doesn't work really well.
So much for fixing the problem.
I'm sure we have people in our lives that are like that screw...
stubborn as all get out,
wedged in tight,
in a bad spot
and won't be fixed.
Maybe I have been that screw.

But I want to be somewhat immovable.
And steadfast.
Maybe a little W-D 40 would work...
What would work in a relationship.
The Savior could help and be the W-D 40.

Just some thoughts. Maybe they don't make much sense...

Project 3 hundred 34. . .

Many choices I could have made today.
Some I should have made better.
Maybe on another day I will.
But for now...
Oh well!!
I could have and (maybe should have) stayed home and cleaned up the disaster that hit
our home.
I could choose to sit for 5 hours at a wrestling match.
But not just any match.
It was the tournament at Sugar and Juan and good teammates were wrestling.
I choose wrestling.
I "wrestled" with the choice.
But,
From past experiences I know that my children choose their own paths eventually and I am left on the outside as they continue on with their lives and that is how it should be.
Today
I chose to experience success and the flip side with my son.
Now, while I could.
It was worth it.
He may make it to 3rd place.
That would be awesome and
I chose to be with him in the beginning.
Homemaking chores will always be there.
But...
When I got home
they weren't!...
Marc, my neat and organized child,
cleaned up my mess.
He did the dishes,
He baked the cookies I had made and left in the frig,
He put away the folded laundry (I did get it folded),
He straightened everything up.
And the house looked like, well...,
like people could inhabit the place.

I could have cried.

Thank you Marc. I love you.

Today was a hard day to keep my chin up.
I did.
That would probably count for my 365 project.
Instead I will tell you how good the 100 percent,
fresh ground,
wheat bread was.
I don't when the last time I had bragging rights
for
from the ground up bread.
My choice.As for the rest of the day...
It started out crisp but turned out to be a January thaw day.
And a wrestling day.
I love wrestling!
We went to North Fremont.
South Fremont lost by 5 points.
I think that honestly(and even North would have to agree)
we should have won.
The ref was pretty slow on pins.
Oh well.
The sweet part is that Juan was awesome!
He's getting it!
He is starting to realize both facts.
That is awesome.
Tomorrow is the Sugar/Salem Tourney.
We see you after that...

Project 365minus 24

I did it!!I worked on letters--Emily's and Brigham's, Christmas letters and cards, catching up in my journal, and other sundry things that haven't seemed to ever be a priority.
Not even today.
Today I made the choice.
I didn't finish.
I didn't feel guilty.
And it was OK.
Oh and I did OK with the eating
and I made a yummy stew.
Those are just things that should be routine
I have to concentrate on them and have them be my choices.
They were.

It was a good day.
Kids went to bed happy.
We're warm and fed and all is safe.
I'm happy (but very tired...)

Project 365minus 24

Krista's project 365 has inspired me.
Each day I plan to do something significant.
I don't know what that will be but...
I will look for something.

January 25th. I walked 2 miles
at night
on my hubby's arm.
It was great. He suggested it.
I detested the suggestion--
thought about it and then made the decision.
And we walked.

I think it is about control. So much of the time I feel out of control and when one can't put control and my life in the same sentence frustration happens and you turn to things where you "think" you do have control and most of the time they are still controlling you. So thus my 'Project'
They have to be something I wouldn't normally do during the day but something I consciensly choose to do; they don't have to be big.

Today I figured out how to used the "timed bake" on my oven that I have had for ? years. I lost the manual and gave up trying to figure it out years ago and tonight it worked!! (After much research.) I also figured our taxes without being coaxed by hubby. It felt good.

Sometimes I will try to include pictures; sometimes just expression.

Once again "life really is good!"

money

I hate being poor!!
but there must be something to learn from it all.
I will try to learn.
I will count my other blessings...
good children,
good husband,
great extended family,
warm and nice home,
church membership,
testimony of the Savior,
work,
health,
food...
I guess I'm not so poor;
Just wish I had a bit more money...

Lists!!

Why are they so important to me?
They only frustrate me.
I don't see me getting anything done.
I think I will go back to one important thing on the list and add to it if something else gets done. The end

New starts and finals

It's the beginning of the year and I love to clear the clutter. My shelves may not look all that awesome to the bystander but to me, it's like taking a deep breath.

Finals means the kids "start" to buckle done for the last Hooray. I can hope that is lasts...

Twice over Christmas

I love Christmas.
So it's well into January...why talk about Christmas?
Every year I have a hard time with the cards....they are so pretty.
But
More than that
They represent the community of people we call
friends and family.
They come in all varieties:
A picture post card,
just a card,
a card with a letter,
a letter with pictures.
How does one throw away the love that comes with those wishes? So tonight,
because it has been on my list and
because the house is quiet and I can use the computer
and because I want to organize the visual clutter,
I will sort through life and love.
The pictures I will keep in my journal, I will record the names of those who remember us, and
I will attempt at answering many of them to let them know how much 'keeping in touch' mean.

Merry "Christmas Card" Christmas!!

New Life in the "Husband at Home All of Time" Lane

Don't get me wrong...
I love my husband.
He has incredible talents.
He is not lazy.
He loves me.
He can fix anything.
He has no obsessions that take him away from his family. He does love his horses and the out of doors.
Thank heavens TV is not an obsession or watching all the stuff on TV. He does like Rush, O'Reilly, etc. but he is doing while he is listening...I can handle that.
He loves watching our kids in sports.
He supports our kids in all their interests.
So what is the issue???

NaThel once said I " married for better or worse but not for lunch".

My most productive time is mornings. If things don't get done in the morning, then comes the job, supper, the kids and I just can't get motivated to do my things at night.

Last night I told Shawn we needed a plan to fit me. My day would start for me at 8:00 or 8:30 a.m. He seemed OK.

So far so good....

I know I need to be flexible--I'm a wife and Mom but I've got to have the plan...

I actually exercised and got that PILE of ironing done. That will about do it because shortly I have to go get Juan to take him to the doc... So much for me :) But I'll grab what I can get.

Antoher Start

Last week was good. This week will be better. I have made my lists and this week I will check them off. I must remember that success comes one day at a time. I am not going to focus on what we (or I) don't have but what I do have and can do and I will persist and see things become easier as I do so. I will report next week.

Progress

I know it's a little early to chart my progress but I feel I need to do it often or I will get off course...
This may sound funny to some but It feels good to actually get ready for the day, showered, dressed, make-up first thing and stay that way all day. I think I am actually more productive and I feel so much better.

I am studying the Old Testament lesson and RS lesson on my own since I am in Primary now and my goal is to read the Book of Mormon again. I am seeing Shawn more as the person to whom to look to for finances etc. and to work with him not so much against him. That shouldn't be hard but it is because I like to be the one to say how the money will be spent and not have to account for it...so WRONG..

I am still struggling to fit in the exercise part. I really know that I SHOULD get up before everyone else and do something but I SOOOO love my bed on these winter days. So I am still working on that and a workable plan. I so want to try cross-country skiing but I am a bit afraid. I know that would be great exercise.

I am learning about being insulin-resistant and I think that I fall into category and therefore I am trying to change some hard-core eating habits. I actually feel better and don't have the cravings as much when I eat like I am supposed to eat. Is that a great SURPRISE??!!

I am slowly checking things off my list. I am working at getting my office organized--last year purged and income-tax ready and this year ready at the get-go. I still have letters to respond to from Christmas, a Miche plan, get my work-sewing room set up and going but little steps will get me there.

Tonight is a tri-wrestling match for Juan so tonight is shot but this is an important thing for him. I think he is feeling like maybe he is winning material. He is fun to watch.

I think all that I am doing so far fits into my Resolution to "please my Heavenly Father" and that is what will motivate me.

Out and In!!

Looking back on 2009--
Emily still in the Philippines and doing well,
Brigham left for Ribieroa Preto, Brazil August 4,
Gea left for Cuenca, Ecuador November 12,
Leona NaThel Carlson made her appearance May 5,Gea graduated from South Fremont High School and Seminary
Shawn left to work in Washington July 6 and spent 6 months supervisor a power line contract for Zundel Tree Service.
A very successful garden and yard and animals with the help of my wonderful kids here at home
Joseph moved to Oklahoma for a few weeks to work when Brigham came home after working there for 3 months.
Gea had a successful summer in Alaska at SilverKing working her "you know what" off but preparing her for the Orphanage work in Ecuador.
A fun Roundy family reunion sponsored by the Andersons in Junction, Utah
Jasmine had a great experience doing Rodeo Queen, and Rachel and Jasmine had a great volleyball season.
Juan was a key football player on the JV squad and Marc did cross country, and was active on the student council.
A great holiday season--Krista, Sam and boys here, Earl, Sarah and children here, Joseph, and Spencer here.
We got to talk to our missionaries in diverse parts of the world. Yes 2009 was good...
That was just a few of the highlights. It was a good year.

Now we look forward to 2010!! Can you believe that? I remember waiting for the entry of the turn of the Century--2000.

I, like many others, love new beginnings and New Years is the biggest of those... My goals remain the same...to constantly try to improve in all areas. But my biggest resolution is to please God. By doing that maybe I will please those in my life

The most important people in my life surround me. I have always wanted a mother's ring but imagine one with 11 stones. I found one. It is bigger than what I normally wear, but I do like it. It reminds me of my most priceless gems.