Dogs and friends

Just finished watching a movie--comes in a close second to "Charlie ' as a tear jerker...Called Marley and Me. After I wiped away the tears I couldn't help but think of the dogs in my life.

When I was a little girl Dad bought home a little puppy for my brother. Scamper became the family dog. He was a house dog until we moved into the new and bigger house in Boulder and then my Mom insisted that he become an "outside dog". That was sad because winters were cold but Scamper didn't complain. There was the time I ran over him in my haste to get a load of books to the bookmobile. Mom helped me care for him because neither of us could have thought it possible to put him down. He lived and when I was on my mission and my mother wrote to say that after 20 years "Old Scamp" had died, I cried. That was tough.

There were other dogs that Mom got to take his place. They were good companions but never quite took the place of Scamper. I don't think any dog could have took his place.

Then came Shawn AND his dog. I married them both. Boku was our companion and my protector. It was a sad day when after about 12-13 years he became to old and sick to carry on. We have had many dogs since then; Brandy's dog, Kimi, then Missy to try to take Boku's place, Candy, Hyde, and Brigham's dog Migo. All come with their own personalities and have managed to climb in our hearts even when we haven't wanted them to. They make life complete. They all have and will cause the tears to fall. Darn it but they are worth it.

Homesick!!

How can I be sitting in my own living room where I have lived for nearly 20 years and feel this longing for...what??!&^$. Maybe its because my children are becoming scattered and living their own good lives and I am still in my...home... I have memories (good and not so very good) lots of pictures and children who still need me to be happy. But I need this day to long for how it was; like when I was a child in Boulder, when I was a young adult searching for love, when I was a young mom with piles of laundry, and dishes and now as an established mom watching my children do what I have taught them to do and be.

Another milestone today: Brigham left for Sao Paulo, Brazil to be trained in the Portuguese language so he can serve in Ribieroa Preto as a missionary for the church. Just yesterday he sat and ate his M & M's one at a time, he finished his dad's sentence--Brigham Brett, my _____ pet!! he planned campouts with all of his buddies, he snag all of the words to EVERY ong on the radio. All of my children have outstanding qualities but today is Brigham's day. Everyone who knows him, likes him. He has a knack for jumping into your heart and staying there so when I feel an emptiness because he has gone, he CAUSED it. But...

I am so glad I am a Mom-- homesickness and all. I just wish it didn't hurt so bad. Brigham would say "It's all part of the plan", Mom. I guess I'll be content with the "plan" -- tomorrow. Today I'll shed a few tears at the edge of the whole he left in my living room. A similar hole that Krista, Joseph, Spencer, Emily, Sarah, and Gea left...