momto11

I love everyone of my children.
They each are different.
They are each special.
I want to be the best influence for each of them and
without getting into their faces
too much
Help them as they embark on the path of life.

Spencer is getting married!
How fun to have the opportunity
to help them celebrate.
I'll try to not get in their faces...

Joseph is learning to work as an underling.
Not an easy thing for him. I hope we can guide him constructively.

Emily is home from the Philippines; Brigham is still serving in Brazil;
Gea is finding companionship with good young men and friends.
Krista and Sam are making a wonderful home and life for them and
their children.
Sarah and Earl are learning parenting and etc.

Then I have four still left at home struggling to find
their way as teenagers.

Sometimes this mom to 11 isn't so great
and I let them slip through the cracks.
I need to do better.

I have to do better.

I will do better.

Joan...

Mom...,
Sister Christensen...,
Dear...,
Mel...,
Melanie...,
Joan...,

Sometimes I feel caught between a rock and a hard spot.
Do I try too hard?
Or not hard enough?
Am I a convenience?
Or an inconvenience?

I sink my life into family.
They sink their lives somewhere else.

Maybe that means I am doing my job
Somewhat.

I'l keep trying.

My testimony

Today was fast and testimony meeting. We had more than the usual "unusuals". It was a good meeting. We have decided to only have one person at a time in the family bear testimony and leave the time for others. Gea bore her testimony and it was really sweet.

But I would like to record my testimony.

I am so grateful for my knowledge of the plan of salvation; to know where I came from, why I am here, and to know that this life isn't the end makes everything worth it. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the countless blessings we enjoy as a family and that I enjoy as His daughter.
I can't even start to count the number of times prayers have been answered. I know He is aware of me. I know He love mes and I love Him. Sometimes I find myself drifting from things I know I should be doing (reading the scriptures, personal prayer etc.) but I know how important those things are and feel power when I return.

Choices

Today.
Two weeks.
I made the choice to get a handle on my health.
Good for me.
No really.
Good for me.
I have accepted the idea that it will take time.
And effort.
I didn't really want to talk about it but I should.
Hopefully, time will say more than words.
No swimsuit pictures.
This picture is 10 pounds after two weeks.
Front shot isn't too bad but that side!!
Ugh!! Ugly.
Oh well.
So there it is.
Two more weeks really restricted and then I gradually try new foods.
That's the part that scares me.
But
It's my choice.
(I'll post the pictures later. Can't find the cord...)

Still working on project 365 minus . . .

I am using my paper journal as well but this month I have decided to focus my control outward...
this month is the month of love.
It is not about me.
It is about others.
I choose to look for ways to make others happy
And, so far
It feels good.

choices

I chose today to be a homemaker.
Chili and corn bread for supper.
After the afternoon at the wrestles.
Juan took 4th.
South Fremont finished 3rd!
It was great being there with my good husband and fantastic kids.
I need to do and be better for both.
I am working at it.

Gea gets home in a week and a half.
Where did the time go?

Emily gets home in just short of 3 months.
Where did THAT time go?
I am excited
But so much to do!!

Life in our lane will change for a short while again.
That is our life.

An observation

Last night I went out to help Shawn with a little project on the car.
The heater doesn't work.
Workable if it is nice.
A flat pain when it is cold.
No one wants to drive it.

Shawn was determined to fix it.
I held the light and turned switches.
His job was to wedge himself into an impossible position to removed the screws and device.
It wasn't easy.
The first 3 screws cooperated.
The last one held tight.
It was as determined to stay as Shawn was to get it out so that he could "fix" the problem.
He cussed (much to my demise),
He yelled, (at least I thought it was yelling)
He pounded,
He tried other positions, but
it stayed.
In the end,
It lost.
Shawn removed the last screw, removed the device and by-passed the problem and hopes he fixed the problem.

For now.

I couldn't help but think about a comparison.
I have a good number of friends that for one reason or another are calling it quits on marriage. Maybe
they have a "screw" in a bad place
and think just because they have screamed, cussed, cried a few times
that they should remove offensive device after finally getting the screw out, by-pass marriage all-together and hopefully "fix" the problem.
For now.

Shawn said the heater still doesn't work really well.
So much for fixing the problem.
I'm sure we have people in our lives that are like that screw...
stubborn as all get out,
wedged in tight,
in a bad spot
and won't be fixed.
Maybe I have been that screw.

But I want to be somewhat immovable.
And steadfast.
Maybe a little W-D 40 would work...
What would work in a relationship.
The Savior could help and be the W-D 40.

Just some thoughts. Maybe they don't make much sense...